As the festive season approaches, I often feel the mental load of planning, shopping, organizing, and managing family dynamics growing heavier. While the holidays bring joy, they also come with added responsibilities—creating the perfect holiday, meeting everyone’s expectations, and maintaining balance amidst the chaos. If I don’t question those thoughts and consciously pause from time to time, the pressure to do it all can leave me feeling overwhelmed.
Recognizing the Impact of mental load
The mental load refers to the invisible labor involved in managing life’s responsibilities—thinking, planning, and worrying. This can include:
- Remembering everyone’s schedules
- Anticipating needs before they arise
- Balancing work deadlines with family commitments
This cognitive juggling act often goes unnoticed until it leads to exhaustion. During the holiday season, the mental load can feel even more overwhelming, potentially causing emotional exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of losing touch with yourself.
The Impact of unchecked beliefs
Many of us, especially women, internalize the belief that it’s our responsibility to manage everything—to keep everyone happy and the household running smoothly. These beliefs stem from cultural conditioning, family expectations, or societal norms. While they can drive us to care for others, they often lead to overextension and a loss of balance. Reflecting on and challenging these assumptions is a powerful way to lighten the load.
The power of mindfulness
Mindfulness can help when overwhelm sets in. For me, a simple tool called STOP—Step back, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed—works wonders. It’s a moment to pause, distance myself from the stress, and question whether the thoughts fuelling my overwhelm are true. This helps me consciously decide what’s most important, such as taking time for myself to relax before holiday guests arrive. It reminds me that when I’m well, even imperfect moments feel joyful for everyone.
You can practice this technique with my a guided breathing space with Steve here.
Tune into what really matters
Pausing helps you get in touch with what really matters to you. It can break the autopilot behaviour of consuming and rushing and instead tap into the essence of the holidays—showing kindness and practicing love, rather than mindlessly eating, drinking, and consuming. Reflect on values that matter to you, such as harmony, integrity, connection, or self-expression. From there, you can identify what truly needs to be done next.
Practical ways of reconnecting with yourself
Here are a few ways to lighten the load and reconnect with yourself:
- Create micro-moments of stillness: Pause for three deep breaths between tasks or enjoy your morning coffee mindfully.
- Acknowledge the weight: Name what feels overwhelming by journaling at the end of the day.
- Practice letting go: Release unrealistic expectations. Let go of minor tasks or ask for help with things like gift wrapping or meal prep.
- Reconnect with what nourishes you: Do something that makes you feel alive—dance, walk in nature, or read for 10 minutes a day.
- Allow things to be imperfect: Let go of the need for perfection. Simple meals and fewer decorations can free up energy for connection and joy.
- Communicate and share the load: Openly talk about your mental load. Delegate tasks to others and create a shared family calendar.
Embracing Imperfection
Roles are part of life, but they don’t define us. By acknowledging our mental load and consciously stepping into moments of "just being," we can reconnect with who we are beyond the expectations. As the holidays approach, reflect on what truly matters to you and take small steps to preserve your well-being.
Start small
What responsibilities weigh most heavily on you? Can you take one small step today to share the load, release unrealistic expectations, or reconnect with what nourishes you? Start small and notice how it feels to prioritize yourself. Let go of perfection, and enjoy the holiday season with balance, connection, and peace.
