Life can feel unpredictable, even overwhelming, and it’s natural to respond with a sense of insecurity. Our fundamental need for safety — alongside connection and satisfaction — plays a powerful role in helping us find grounding amidst challenges. The good news? We can rewire our minds with the power of positive neuroplasticity to cultivate resilience, helping us feel safer and more grounded in our daily lives.
Understanding why we feel unsafe
Our ancestors relied on a strong awareness of danger to survive, and this survival instinct is still deeply embedded in us. This “negativity bias” that kept us safe over centuries can now make us overestimate threats and underestimate our ability to manage them, leading to anxiety and worry even when we’re safe.
To feel secure in an unpredictable world, we need to balance caution with confidence. Strengthening our inner resources helps us meet life’s real challenges while easing unhelpful fears.
Applying Positive Neuroplasticity for feeling safe
Positive neuroplasticity — the brain's ability to internalize positive experiences — offers a practical way to build safety into our daily experience. By focusing on positive moments and intentionally reinforcing them, we strengthen neural pathways that promote a sense of well-being. Here’s how you can use the HEAL framework, developed by neuroscientist Rick Hanson, to nurture feelings of safety:
Have a positive experience. Look for moments in your day that bring a sense of comfort or ease. It could be as simple as noticing how you feel wrapped in a cozy blanket or during a warm conversation with a friend. Each of these moments is an opportunity to remind yourself that you are safe.
Enrich the experience. Once you notice a moment of safety, deepen it. Let yourself savor the warmth of the blanket or the sense of connection in your conversation. Try to fully immerse in the experience — noticing the colors, sounds, sensations, or even smells associated with it. The more sensory details you engage, the richer and more lasting the feeling becomes.
Absorb it. Allow yourself to feel this sense of safety sink in. Imagine it becoming part of you, like a layer of protection that surrounds you. Picture yourself storing this sense of calm and security in your body and mind. By really absorbing the moment, you’re helping your brain encode it as a memory of safety that you can draw on later.
Link it to any feelings of insecurity. If you’re experiencing any anxious or tense thoughts, you can gently connect them to the feeling of safety. For example, as you feel the warmth of the blanket or the steadiness of your breath, you might remind yourself that this moment of calm can help counterbalance feelings of unease. Over time, this process can weaken the hold of anxious thoughts and strengthen your sense of security.
Building a habit of noticing and taking in feelings of safety
As you move through your day, try to capture these small, reassuring moments. For me, they come from my morning ritual: the warmth of my coffee, the steady breath in meditation, the soothing presence of my cats, and the comfort of compassionate conversations. Each of these small moments strengthens my sense of inner security, and they are small steps toward a safer, more grounded mindset.
What are your rituals of comfort and calm? Noticing and absorbing these moments consistently is how we nurture a resilient, balanced mind. Starting your day with a few moments of warmth or stillness can be a powerful way to build inner security.
If you’d like guided support in embracing a moment of calm and reassurance, you might enjoy my meditation on feeling safe. It’s a gentle way to nurture that sense of inner security.
It's not just about the challenges — It’s how we respond
In a world full of uncertainties, nurturing safety within and around us is essential to building resilience. Embrace these small moments of safety, and let them guide you toward a calmer, more secure experience of life.
