Did you set any priorities at the start of the year? If so, are you managing to keep them, or has the initial momentum already faded?
It’s easy to blame a lack of willpower, but research shows that sheer discipline alone isn’t enough. Real, lasting change happens when we align our goals with what truly matters to us—when they feel right rather than forced, and when we actually enjoy them.
We generally start with good intentions, subscribing to a gym or buying healthier food. But after a few weeks, old habits creep back in—we find ourselves on the couch instead of at the gym, scrolling through social media instead of meditating. Consequently, we feel guilty for not keeping our promises to ourselves, and this self-blame negatively affects our self-esteem. Over time, we lose trust in ourselves and may even stop setting goals altogether.
Why does this happen? Running on willpower alone is exhausting. It often feels like fighting windmills—a constant battle between our rational mind and our emotions. One voice tells us to avoid the cookie because it will affect our health, while another insists that we need it to feel better.
Research suggests that willpower is like a muscle—a finite resource that depletes with use. After a long and strenuous day, our willpower is exhausted, leaving us vulnerable to night-time snacking and distractions.
How to Make Your Goals Work
To achieve lasting change, it’s essential to align your mind with your emotions when setting goals. Here are some practical strategies to turn your resolutions into a success story:
1. Check in with Your Body
Ask yourself: Am I fully committed to this goal, or is it something I think I should do? Does your whole body want this change, or is your mind making the decision alone? When your goals align with your heart and gut, they feel more natural, reducing the internal resistance that often leads to failure.
2. Make It Fun
Instead of forcing yourself to go to the gym, reflect on whether you actually enjoy it. If not, consider alternative ways to stay active—perhaps walking, biking, or swimming suits you better. The key is to find movement that feels good rather than something that simply becomes another task on your to-do list.
For me, this is how meditation became a daily habit. It’s no longer a chore but a precious time for myself, leaving me refreshed and resourced.
3. Break It into Small Chunks
Big, ambitious goals can feel overwhelming. If your aim is to meditate daily for 30 minutes, you might find it difficult to sustain. Instead, start with five minutes a day for a month, then gradually increase the duration. Small, consistent actions create lasting change. Just like brushing your teeth—each individual session may seem insignificant, but over time, the habit leads to visible benefits.
4. Change Small Habits
If your daily routine remains the same—eating the same foods, sitting in the same spot, taking the same route to work—you are less likely to adopt new habits. Introducing small habit breakers, like sitting on a different side of the table for breakfast or changing where you sleep, can foster mental flexibility. These minor changes can create momentum for bigger shifts in your life.
5. Create Favourable Conditions
Rather than relying solely on willpower, set up your environment to support your goals. If you want to stop drinking alcohol, avoid settings where alcohol is present. If you aim to work out more, choose a gym close to your home or workplace. For meditation, design a quiet, inviting space where you won’t be disturbed.
6. Get Support
Sharing your goal with others can reinforce your commitment and provide motivation. Doing sports or meditating with a friend makes it more enjoyable and increases accountability. Research shows that having at least one supportive person significantly improves success in forming new habits. That’s why our mindfulness courses pair participants with accountability buddies throughout the 8-week journey. Likewise, group courses and retreats offer motivation and encouragement from like-minded individuals.
Whatever your goals are, I wish you success, joy, and consistency in making them a reality.
